Study notes

Chapter 6. The Pastor's wife

The Pastor’s wife plays a vital part in the care and love of the flock, in conjunction with her husband. Her ministry may not have the same outworking, as her husbands but will compliment his.To function as a team ministry, the wife will need to have the same heart for the flock as her husband. This may be something that grows within her as she gives herself to the work. The role is a demanding one, therefore it is essential that she has a relationship with God that will keep her.

The Calling of God

Her calling is to be a help to her husband, a mother to her children and a keeper of the home. Her requirement as an elder’s wife is in 1 Tim. 3:11 a sincere and serious person, not one who talks badly about others, loyal and reliable. A Pastor’s wife is watched very closely. To the flock she is an example in how she relates to her husband, brings up her children, keeps her home, dresses, speaks and also her relationship with the flock. She will be the one who takes the lead and shows by her behaviour how to fulfil the Scripture Titus 2:3-5. She will often be involved in counselling and praying for the flock, singularly or with her husband.

Maturity

It is a life of selflessness as her husband’s time is taken up with so many other situations. Much wisdom is needed particularly in these days when deception and selfishness is rampant against the Church. Naturally she will defend her husband from attack but wisdom requires the word and actions of the Lord.

Using the Home

Because of the nature of the pastoral ministry the home often becomes the centre of the work. People will call to chat, call for ministry, some will stay short or long term for help. Visitors will pass through. It is a busy place and often the unexpected caller will change any routine she may have had. It is not unusual to be called on during the night. She will need to be adaptable and caring and understand other people’s hearts. She may be put upon or even deceived by others who come into her home. However, the burden is not completely her own it is a shared ministry. She may need practical help from others. She will need to be given to hospitality. Provide endless cups of tea!. She will have to make decisions on the telephone, take messages and answer people’s queries

Bringing up the Children

After her relationship with God, the family is her highest priority. Time must be made to bring up her children in the Lord, to teach love and obedience, faith and prayer so that they may grow up to know the Lord for themselves. Because of the busyness of the home, it may be needful to make more convenient times to speak to people in need rather than when the children are around. Sometimes, because of difficult backgrounds, women have not learnt the basic abilities in running a home. This can be learnt as they visit regularly or stay for a short time. They also see what a Christian family is and it shows them how the Lord is to them as a father and provider. It is important to arrange times when the family can be together. This is essential in prayer and in recreation. Often help is needed practically in the home because of the time taken in looking after others. The children learn to accept others as they see the Lord ministering, changing and delivering those who come, their faith and understanding of God deepens.

The role of the Pastor’s wife in the Church

A Pastor’s wife will usually get quite involved with the daily running of church life.  Meetings, prayer-times, fasting and activities.  Sometimes also Sunday School or Youth Work or Women’s meetings.  She will find ability to lead, as from God, that other women may not find, especially if her husband is also a leader of the church.  She may need to encourage the other women to worship and take part in the expression of the body of Christ. She may lead a women’s prayer meeting, outreach, coffee morning etc.  To encourage fellowship and practical teaching of the women.  She may be the one who organises outings, visits from other groups etc. Mainly she keeps an eye on the women and seeks to see their needs.  Older women may find the time factor for this easier and able to do more.  Some also go to other situations to speak. She may be able also to visit the sick and visit women in their homes and help others practically.

Demonic and deceptive realm

Because of the closeness between those who come for help and the family environment, the Pastor’s wife needs to discern between good and evil.  2 Cor.2:11.  We have an enemy who seeks to destroy the Church and especially those in leadership.  Therefore there needs to be an awareness of the intent and heart of those who come into the home. People may stay who have serious problems, the family would have to be taken into consideration.  People can be helped in this environment if they stay under the headship of the husband and authority of God in the home.  Never move away from the measure and ability given by God.  People have been known to cause breakdowns in marriages and leave troubled children behind after their visit.  Outward appearances can be a cloak for something more devious.  1 Thess.2:5.

Conclusion

The work is very rewarding.  Lovely friendships are made.  As people respond to the Lord it is such a thrill and then to see them grow up, get married and often enter into the same role as themselves, being involved in the work of the Lord.  

The Role of Women in the Church

There are many areas in church life in which women are able to be involved:

• Practical Help - Hospitality Luke 8:1-3 Open home 1Tim.3:2 Personal needs Acts 9:36
• Visitation - Visiting the sick James 1:27 Elderly and Widows
• Evangelism - Leading people to Christ Acts 18:24 Missionary work abroad Phil.4:3
• Counsel - Helping with problems - Being a peacemaker Rom.16:1-6 Discouraging gossip
• Teaching Younger women Titus2:3-5 Children and Youth Bible Studies – Seminars - Woman’s meetings
• In the meetings - Use of the Gifts 1Cor.12 Prayer and Prophesy 1Cor.11

There are some roles that did not include women, such as the choice of disciples and eventually apostles and elders or bishops as in 1Tim.3. Controversy over passages such as 1Tim.2:11&12 and 1Cor.14:33-35 are thought to be put down to Jewish custom of ‘speak’ as in ‘call out’. It cannot mean to have no part when the church meets together but to not usurp authority over the man is backed up by the God given leadership of man in the family and the church order instituted that there should be no confusion in the church. 1Cor.14:40.

It is necessary to understand that any spiritual ministry must only be undertaken by those who are equipped and mature. The following list is taken from Scripture to show the qualifications for ministry:

• A submissive spirit,
• Under authority
• Quiet spirit
• Busy at home
• A spirit of hospitality
• Taking care of the family
• Behaviour which promotes
• Temperate
• A servant spirit
• Evangelism
• Trustworthy
• One worthy of respect Inward beauty
• Not a slanderer
• Not malicious talkers
• Modest dress
• Self controlled
• A reverent lifestyle
• Kind Not addicted to wine (or anything else)
• Pure lives