Study notes

Chapter 13. Counselling after separation or Divorce

Three of the most perplexing questions, which are asked: – Does the Lord allow married couples to separate? Can we divorce? Is remarriage after divorce permitted?

Separation

It is clear from 1Cor.7:10,11 & 15 that separation had two clauses:- If a partner left because of one person becoming a Christian, they were not to be in bondage about it. If one partner did leave, the instruction was to remain unmarried or be reconciled.

Divorce

It is clear from Gen.2:20-25 that in God’s heart marriage was forever, and that a unified flesh and spirit could not be separated. Children are the fruit of union and cannot be divided in spirit either.

In Deut.24:1-4 we read of a bill of divorcement given if a woman was found to have committed fornication and her husband wanted her to leave. They were both free to remarry under the Jewish law, but adultery was punishable by death. Lev.20:10. Matt.19:3-12 records Jesus’ view on that. In verse 8 He says, the bill of divorcement was given because of the hardness of their hearts and not the original desire of God’s heart. In verse 9 Jesus states that except for fornication if anyone remarries they commit adultery. In verse 10 we see the reaction of the disciples and Jesus’ answer. Read also Matt.5:33.
The same incident is recorded in Mark 10:2-12 but without the clause ‘except for fornication’.  Also read Luke 16:18. Paul commands in 1Cor.7:10-11 that the woman who leaves her husband should remain unmarried or be reconciled and that the husband is not at liberty to divorce his wife.
Confusion comes because the word fornication can be also translated as adultery or marital unfaithfulness. Also when Jesus says ‘not all men can receive this saying’ only those to whom it is given. Again some think it to be just a Jewish custom.
To the Christian it is important to see the heart of God in marriage and that our liberty is only to do the Will of God.
It is clear from 1Timothy chapter 3 that only those who have one wife can be given positions of authority as elders or bishops, as examples of the heart of God. Scripture is clear that ‘death’ is the ultimate freedom from a marriage but remarriage then although legal and Biblical must still be in the Will of God. Rom.7:2-3.